Topless Riding

I fully support…wait.  Need a better word.  I fully endorse the right to ride your bike topless.  My practical side though, as well as my reserved side, get in the way of exposing my front side.  While in motion.

I get that I’m a cyclist and I get that I’m a feminist but get this, I am also me.  In July 1991, University of Guelph student Gwen Jacob was charged after removing her top on a hot summer day. That act started a movement, eventually giving all women in Ontario Canada the legal right to expose their breasts.  FANTASTIC! And as it should be.  It’s 2016 and our Prime Minister rarely wears shirts.  Cheers to progress!

As a female cyclist I was encouraged to ride topless in a protest after three sisters in Waterloo were pulled over by police for doing just this.  I was unable to make it due to scheduling commitments as well as my “top-on-when-there-are-photographers” rule.  As much as it’s in one’s rights to be topless, I am within my rights to be hard core demure.  In my college days I loved shooters but never showed anything but cash to get them.   Don’t think of me as old fashioned.  Think of me as selective.

I’m not alone.  Looks like the Assos Woman has finally decided to put a top on too!  I have these boob-wedgie shorts as well but nobody ever knew.

All this aside, hunched over is not my best look partially naked.  French countryside bicycling into the village for bread, maybe.  With arms waving high at the locals for friendship and lift.  Oui!  Climbing a 16% grade out of the saddle, noooooooo.  Too much le tic-tac de la pendule as they say.  

Part of it is about speed too.  Aerodynamics.  Sports bras will squash you down or up, you get to pick.  I prefer to keep ’em wide and flat to minimize cleavage, also knows as The Bee Cave.  If you’re bombing 60km down a hill with a front like a sunscreened slip-n-slide, you’re catching bees.  In all fairness, if a plumber went down a hill ass backwards, same amount of danger would be present.

I didn’t put a top on until I was ready to start school so perhaps it’s just all out of my system.  Most days I ran around topless while still an urchin.  I was also under the impression that I was a boy thanks to my Dad referring to me as Poika, the Finnish word for boy.

In case you’re wondering, I fully support breast feeding in public to the max but it’s just not for me.  Not because I don’t want to expose my breasts, it’s that I don’t have children.  I remember enough about science to know that I can’t borrow an infant just to make a point.

I love when women make noise.  Noise was made to give us our rights and noise was made to give us our dignity.  That’s how change happens.  And the reason why me and and my loud mouth lady cyclists are riding this weekend.  Jersey’s on.

You can’t wear your heart on your sleeve with your top off.

To donate to my ride:  Tour For Kids



One thought on “Topless Riding

  1. Your blog was a wonderful and witty treat to have with my morning coffee. Laughed out loud! The boys think Granny has lost it:)

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